In a rut

No, I didn't disappear again, it's just the lovely month of August has gotten it's hands on me yet again.......

So, I am usually a pretty private person. I blog a lot about my dad and his health, and my crazy family, but other than that, I just keep things to myself. I am really good at just smiling and saying "Everything is GREAT". Most of the time it is. I have some really amazing kids, I mean I know every mother thinks that, but seriously, I have amazing kids! lol. I have two jobs I love. I have my own Photography business that is going really well, and I'm really happy, and proud of myself about that. I work a "real" job, raise two children, take care of my family, and still make time to follow my dreams, and do what makes me passionate. I know so many people who can't say that. And in the same breath, I have SO many amazing friends who CAN say that. I'm proud of myself that I have found such amazing friends in life. I mean I really have great people around me, and sometimes, without some of you, I may lose it! lol. However, the last few months have been really rough on me. My Dad has been seriously sick, and it is only going down hill for him. I've had a couple of SUPER close friends of mine kind of fade out of my life, which is sad. I've been running myself into the ground trying to do everything I need to do for everyone else, and I feel so unappreciated by a good amount of those people.And I'm just not doing enough for ME! I feel like I work and work and work, and no one notices. I just gets so old sometimes. Everyone I know is so busy right now, no one has time for eachother anymore, which makes me sad.
I'm so sick of helping out my family. I do and do and do and do some more for them, but the second I need anything (with the acception of my father) they bail. Why do people think that's ok? Don't they have any kind of moral compass? I wouldn't be able to sleep at night.
On top of all of this, the month of August is always rough. Every year it's a rough rough month. Greg is gone for virtually the whole month. Teaching band camps at different schools. I talk to him maybe 2 or 3 times a week. Which is not made any better by the fact that when I DO talk to him, and tell him I miss him, I am told, he's been too busy to even think about it. I KNOW he didn't mean it in any bad way, but SHEESH that hurts. I am working every minute of everyday, taking care of the children, cooking, cleaning, working, yet, I still find time to miss him. Ugh. I have no vehicle while he's gone either, so it's me and two kids hanging out in and around home. 24/7 with an acception when i have a photo shoot, or go into a store for HP, in which, i am still WORKING. NO me time at all this month.
I feel like there are very few people in my life right now who DO appreciate me. I'm not saying I'm some wonderful person, but I work my butt off not only for myself, but for other people as well. And maybe that right there is my downfall. I have too good of a heart, and I like to help too much.
I just think I deserve way more respect, and appreciation than I am getting right now, and I'm really getting sick of it. I feel like I'm stuck in a rut, and I'm not sure how to get out. At this current moment, I want to make some really rash decisions, that could change a lot of things in my life, however, I won't. I'll just sit around wait, wait, waiting on someone to open their eyes, and see what's been right infront of them the whole time.
Ok, Gold star for whoever made it down here.
I just want to give a HUGE THANK YOU to those of you who have noticed, and have been there for me. I don't want to list names, cuz I am afraid I'd forget someone and then feel like crap about it forever, but I really DO know who you are. And Thanks, a lot, you're saving me from complete depression! haha.
FYI - NO I am not depressed. I love my family, and I love my life, I am just fed up with people taking advantage of me, and not noticing all that i do for them, and I'm not sure where to go from there.

Sisterly Love

When I got pregnant for the first time, I was secretly hoping it was a girl. I would have been thrilled, excited, and thankful either way, but I wanted to dress her up in frilly dresses, and bows in her hair. I got my wish.
When I got pregnant the second time, I would have been happy either way. If I had a girl, she would have a big sister to play with, and if I had a boy, I would have one of each. I got another girl, and I was SO excited. Now I would have two beautiful little girls. WHY DIDNT ANYONE EVER REMIND ME WHAT IT'S LIKE TO HAVE A SISTER? I mean, I should have known what I was in for, I had 3 sisters growing up.
Now, what am I talking about, you may ask? I'm talking about my daily routine, and mind you, Myleigh isn't even 2 yet.

*Myleigh is sitting on the floor quietly playing with her blocks*
*Enter Jessa*
Jessa: "No Myleigh. You're not doing it right, here, let me show you."
Myleigh: (in her loudest shrieky voice) "NO JESSA TOP IT" (stop it of course)
Jessa: (while ripping the toy from Myleigh) "Here Myleigh, You HAVE to do it this way, now let me help you!"
Myleigh: "NO! LEY GO! LEY GO NOW! GO TO BED! (while pointing upstairs)"
Then lots of screaming and tears follow.

Or it goes the other way.

*Jessa sitting on the floor coloring in her brand new coloring book*
*Myleigh discovers what she's doing and goes over*
Myleigh: "gimme cayon Jessa"
Jessa: "No Myleigh, I'm coloring right now"
Myleigh: (while snatching a crayon and heading for the book) "Yes, me color too now"
Jessa: " STOP IT MYLEIGH"
Myleigh: "Beeaauuutiiiiful" (while coloring all over Jessa's page)
Jessa: (Screaming) "NO MYLEIGH! YOU RUINED MY BOOK, I DONT EVEN WANT IT ANYMORE!" (crying and tearing out pages)

Exciting. isn't it? Aren't you sad you're missing out?

In all actuallity, I love my girls all the same. It's just a really fun cycle we're going through right now, and I just HAD to share! ;)

Laadeedaa

Heya everyone. Blog three! Whoo hoo, I'm on a roll. Well, Miss Myleigh went potty on her chair twice today! Pee twice and Poop once! I know that just sounds like TMI to most of you, but my fellow moms out there, you know how exciting this truely is. Especially since she's been boycotting the potty for weeks now! lol My Printer Broke!!! RAWR! and right in the middle of a project I was doing for a client! Argh! Thankfully my Dad loves me, and lent me the money for a new one! Saving my butt yet again! So my Dad and I went to see Dark Knight the other night. I was impressed. It was pretty darn good. And Heath Ledger deserves some Emmy's for that perfomance. CREEPY! Jessa is addicted to the Wii over here. My dad is letting us borrow his, and that is ALL she wants to do! lol. I can't break her away from it. Well, besides for her time everyday that she has to do her Summer Bridge book for school. I love that they do this. She gets a workbook for the summer, so she doesn't forget any of the stuff she learned over the school year.
Hmm this blog seems like an awful lot of rambling. Myleigh is currently singing me "twinkle twinkle little star" she know so many songs now, it's crazy. She has about the best memory I've ever seen. She remembers everyone's names. She remembers everything she hears, lol.
I guess i should go get to work on the name plaque im making for my friend's daughter. But at least u got to know about the random stuff on my brain at this very moment! Lucky you.

And here I am again

Well, Things have been..... interesting the last few weeks. HARD to handle is an understatement. It's a lot of very private stuff, that I don't really want to get into, but just know, if I seem stressed, it's cuz I am.

I am managing to post a second blog in less than a month though, so thats a record for lately! lol. Myleigh seems to really enjoy ripping off her diaper, standing infront of my television, and pooping on my living room floor. Today makes the second time. She used to sit on the potty and go all the time. Now, she just WONT go. She did go pee AND poop on the potty today though, to, only a few hours later, still rip off her diaper, and poop on my living room floor. The first time she did it, she was also drawing on my television with a crayon. I am told by my mother that I should have taken a picture of this wonderful event. However, in that very moment, taking a picture was the last thing on my mind. lol. It sure would have been fun to torture her with later, but at this rate, im sure I'll get another chance! ;)

Jessa is off in Lansing visiting her Grandma. MAN do I miss that kid when she's gone. She left Weds and she'll be home on Mon, and it seems so far away still. :( Hurry up already! lol

Work is going well. I had to move my schedule around like crazy this week. Thank God that this job gives me the ability to do that! I don't know what I would have done otherwise.

There isn't a whole lot to write about tonight since most of what is on my mind, I would rather not talk about yet. SO, I guess the whole point in this blog was to tell you about my living room pooping kid. Lol. I'll try and be back soon!

you know what I haven't done.....

in a really really long time?


BLOG

I mean seriously. What's wrong with me? I do miss blogging. It's been a looooong time. Both on here, and on my myspace blog. Things have just been insane around here. And not really stuff I wanna blog about. But, I'm going to attempt to get back at it. This will be my second attempt, so don't hold your breath!
Well, the girls are doing fantastic. Myleigh is sooo cute. She just started saying "Oh Phooey!" I about fall on the ground laughing everytime. I think Jessa is about to try out for American Idol because she walks around my house all day long screaming her lungs out (eeh, singing very loudly) It's just been interesting. Greg is doing well, August is almost here, which means pretty much a whole month without him. SO that means, I'll be crazy stressed out from ALL the crap I'll have to do by myself, so Call me, or Come over, or SOMETHING. rofl. Work is going really well, both for HP, and the Photography.
Um, I think Ashley and I MAY actually hang out this friday. Isn't that bizarre? I think so.
And, I'm off tomorrow for a much needed MNO with a couple of close friends who i miss OH SO DEARLY.
That's about it. Maybe I'll have more to write after that. Oh, and for those of you who have been asking about my Dad. he's doing alright. He still can't really use his left hand, and he still has to have a triple bypass, but we're taking everything day by day.
Hope all is well with everyone else ;)

Sorry Guys

I know I said I'd be back. Then my father had a heart attack, and there's been a whole mess of stuff going on here. I did however make the girls a website. I am posting blogs there when I can too, those are mostly just about what the girls are doing though. I really do love this blog, and I do plan on using it! I swear! lol


So, let me play catch up a little bit. Christmas was lovely. It was nice to spend some time with family and friends. We had new family pics taken. If I get a second I'll upload them here, if not go to jessaandmyleigh.com to see them.

You should all get a kick out of my Christmas present though! Those of you who made it to the last M.N.O. already heard this story. So anyways, My dad bought me a new vaccuum. My mom bought me a dust buster. Greg's parents bought me a digital picture frame. The best gift, however, came from Greg. I got...... are you ready for this?

A BOX OF BROWNIE MIX! Pulled straight out of a Walmart bag and handed to me. To top it off, On Christmas Eve we were low on Toilet Paper and I didn't want to run out while all the stores were closed so we stopped at Walmart about 5:30 on Christmas Eve. It was THEN that he decided to get me a gift! A lovely box of brownie mix. A whole $0.97 worth of thought and effort. I mean, he asked me all month long what I wanted. I told him I wanted him to be SWEET and THOUGHTFUL like he used to be. Because last Christmas, I got a Pillow Case. Anniversary was a Blanket. and Vday was a pillow. I mean, he used to be so sweet and romantic. So I tell him, be SWEET and THOUGHTFUL and I get a box of brownie mix! He didn't even bake them, and put em on a pretty plate or something. Nope, The box.
Don't get me wrong. I love the man. He's a wonderful guy. A wonderful father. I need to find a gift giving school to send him to though, or something. I'm quite interested to see what I get for Vday. I just put SO much thought and effort into his gifts, it's so frustrating to get no thought in return. I don't care if he spends a dollar as long as it's sweet and thoughtful! know what I mean?

Lol, anyone else had horrible gifts? Come on, I know you do. I hope so at least! lol. I hope I'm not the only one who's ever gotten umm, interesting, gifts! What was the worst gift you ever received!?

Miss me much?

Sorry. I became a sucky blogger for a while there. Not just at writing either, I can't remember the last time I checked my friends' blogs. Thing is, we were packing, then moving, the unpacking, which is still an ongoing thing. Plus I've been working, Greg's been working, Jessa's has tons of school stuff going on, and Myleigh is growing up :( I miss everyone though. Things have just been so insane. So I am moved into the old prison now. The old OLD prison that became the Armory. It's really awesome, our place is nice. As soon as we finish unpacking, and arranging things how we want them, I'll post pictures. The grand opening is in Feb. You guys should come check it out for sure. There is a whole weekend of events going on. Should be a blast, and really cool. It's almost 3 in the morning, and I have to get Jessa up at 6 so I'm gonna head to bed, but I plan on being back, to posting, regularly (almost haha) So check me out. :)